non-verbal skills in effective leadership

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Good leaders are invariably the so called "nice ones", who are easy to deal with.  A leader needs to possess certain qualities for his followers to find him easy to get on with.  When they use non-verbal skills they will not only become dynamic and effective in their communication,  but will also be able to develop an easy understanding through different body language signals.  This will result in them experiencing a difference in the way people respond.  And will also, make a change in how leaders are perceived by others on the whole.

Leaders who use good gestures are supposed to be approachable, and interested in the work at hand, and their team members.  On the other hand, those who don't use gestures are seen as difficult,  stiff, boring and unapproachable.

When leaders use positive non-verbal communication, it helps to give out messages of active listening.  This will lead to the speaker believing that they are actually listening and will encourage them to speak more, and make the leaders comfortable to speak to.  Maintaining good eye contact, turning the head and body towards the speaker, leaning slightly and nodding are ways to demonstrate good listening by leaders.

Smile is another form of communication that  could be used effectively by leaders. When you smile, you become more approachable and easy to deal with towards others. Smiling is contagious, and  elevates your mood and others' mood by triggering the release of endorphins in the brain.  Your followers will want to work with you, consider you pleasant, and may even work harder.  Your subordinates will also let you know if there are any developing problems.  This will make it easier to tackle problems at an early stage.

This information was referred from:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/175619-how-can-nonverbal-communication-be-used-by-leaders/

It's everything

Couldn't post for some time, as I was tied up with exams, but now that they are nearly finished, I am back to do my favorite blogging...!

As I think more and more about non-verbal skills, the more ideas that come streaming in...

• For instance one of your colleagues says, she is able to do the work you assigned  her, but misses two deadlines, what would that mean to you?
• Your friend says he is not angry but slams the door while going out?
• A fellow student says she is not nervous about the presentation,, but her brow is furrowed and she perspires profusely?

What do you think about the above situations..?

Do you think they were speaking the truth..?

The truth is that, they were not.  Because body language never lies.

When we say one thing in words spoken, and give out a contradictory non-verbal message, others invariably believe the non-verbal message.

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Non-verbal messages are more than a moment's actions and body communication.  In fact it is the way we live, what we do, what we possess, what we like, whom we like and so on and on...it is everything about our lives.  It is the way about us...

So do you see now, that through your non-verbal messages you have created an impression of yourself, in the minds of others?

Do you like the impression you created?  Or do you want to change it?

Referred from:
                 Guffey, M.E & Rhodes, K. & Rogin, P. (2011) Business Communication:

                Process Product (6th edition) Toronto, ON: Nelson

Gestures

As  I  mentioned in one of the previous posts, an important thing to remember when understanding body language is the culture you are in.  This is so with gestures as well, which is another component of non-verbal communication.  Gestures might especially come in handy if you are planning to visit a country, you are not familiar with.  It would be a good idea to do your research in this case so you get to know the non-verbal side of that culture.

The gestures in the following video will add to your knowledge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsOReLHVUoI

Dos and dont's

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• Maintaining good eye contact is an effective way of communicating. It conveys confidence, honesty and interest.  However there is a difference between eye contact and staring.  Staring is rude.
• A good firm palm-to-palm handshake conveys confidence and honesty.
• Do not slouch when talking.  Leaning forward while listening, and standing erect are indicators of good body language.
• Do not cross arms or legs when communicating as this gives out messages of negativity, defensiveness, close mindedness and an attempt to create a barrier.
• Avoid shaking legs or feet, and rubbing palms or drumming the table as this is a sign of being nervous or frustrated. 

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• Good  body language could contribute to effective courting too.  Gestures like pointing of the foot towards the other sex, stroking of hair, and playing with accessories like rings, watches etc shows that you are interested in the other person. 

• As the correct personal space between two people communicating, depends on the place they are in, and the culture they are subjected to, it is hard to set an appropriate personal comfort zone because it differs from place to place.
• Body language differs between  genders, and women tend to use it more.

This information was referred from:
http://www.aeic2008santiago.org/importance-of-non-verbal-communication

Having fun with non-verbal skills

By now you must have an idea about this vast area of non-verbal communications.  You could start to apply this knowledge  to your daily life and try to understand the people you interact with better.  Or even you could start to think about your own self in order to improve your messages.  This is a very easy and influential way with others and with what you say and do.  Well, if you do it right you are sure to be liked and trusted.  But on the other hand if you send the wrong signals maybe because you are unaware of it, your interaction and relationships with everybody around you will suffer. 

So, why suffer the consequences of poor communication when you have the chance to improve it and greatly enhance every aspect of your life.  Just think of it, probably if you had known this earlier, you could have landed that job you were after, or go out on that great date  you so much wanted !

You can see now, it pays off  to develop non-verbal skills....

Why I am saying  non-verbal skills are a sure way is because it is proven to accurately decode others' thoughts and actions.  You probably might be thinking  why is it so accurate.  It is so accurate because it is based on scientific research and tested and proven to work.

So, do you think you will start to apply it to your life?

While you think along those lines, lets have some fun applying it with people we know.

Consider the image (9) of President Barack Obama.

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Think about the intensity of his face.  He has a firmly set, somewhat  serious expression, which shows depth.  Look at the cheekbones and the strength of his jaw.  Doesn't his face exude strength?  This could said to be a powerful image.  So, can you see now that he actually has what it takes to be the president of a country like America.

Could you think about other leaders and persons you have met, and see if their body language gives out messages consistent with who they actually are.

Well, now you could have fun applying non-verbal skills with people around you.

This information was referred from:
http://store.kevinhogan.com/decodingbodylanguage.aspx

Understanding it better

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJVbu78rEfU

Occulesics, Haptics, Apprearace.....

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Occulesics :  Occulesics refers to eye gaze.  For example staring and blinking give out different messages.  It is said that when we meet others that we like, the blinking rate increases and the pupils dilate.  A simple look can give out emotions of hostility, interest, honesty or attraction.

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Haptics: Haptics refers to touch.  It has become a very important part of non-verbal communication, as there has been a lot of research into this area.  Touch is proven to play an essential part in humans' as well as animals' lives in making them successful in communicating socially, especially later in their lives.  Touch, done the right way, at the right time is therapeutic.  It gives out meanings like familiarity, sympathy and a host of other emotions.  Hugging, kissing and giving a massage of some ways of  communicating through     touch.

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Appearance :  This is the way we dress, our hairstyle, the way we use make-up, shoes, jewellery, watch or a purse and other aspects that contribute to our overall look.  A lot of messages could be conveyed this way.  Also, the colours we opt for, gives out more about our internal self as well.  Just think what runs in your mind the first time you see somebody, and the judgements and conclusions you tend to draw.  This shows that job seekers should appropriately to job interviews.

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Physical attractiveness :  Physical attractiveness conveys some important clues about values of somebody.  Qualities like likability, honesty and friendliness is attributed to attractive people in general.  An interesting fact is that attractive people get more jobs than unattractive people.

This information was referred from: 

http://www.ehow.com/info_8115785_many-types-nonverbal-communications-there.html

What does body language mean to you ?

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What does his gesture mean ?

Gestures :  Gestures like hand movements and other body movements could be used to communicate too.  For instance waving, pointing and using fingers to indicate numeric counts and open palm gestures to suggest accessibility are some of them.  As much as gestures used well can add warmth and personality to a conversation, overuse can result in interruption or even distraction.  Just like most of the other non-verbal messages, gestures differ in different cultures.  Somebody, signaling success by forming the thumb and forefinger into a circle, should take care, not to do so in Germany or South Africa, as it denotes an obscene reference.

                                                                                                                             

Paralinguistics :  This refers to the vocal part of the communication apart from the actual words, like the tone of voice, loudness, inflection, rhythm and pitch.  For instance think about a situation where you say something in a strong  voice, listeners will interpret it as approval or enthusiasm.  On the other hand,  when you use a hesitant tone of voice, this would give out an impression of dissapproval or lack of interest.

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Do you think they are maintaining an appropriate personal space,
or are they overdoing it ?

Kinesics :  The study of the relationship between the way we carry our body and communication is called Kinesics.  Kinesics conveys our attitudes and feelings and its far more subtle and definitive.  Messages like high status,self-confidence, shyness and submissiveness could be conveyed through body stances.  Standing and walking tall and having a good posture,  gives out a message of confidence and respect.  Having relaxed fluid movements will put recipients at ease.

Proxemics :  This refers to the personal space or territory.  It could be a specific spot or the space around us.  This is the zone of privacy where we would  feel comfortable.  This  space depends on situational factors, social norms, personality characteristics and how familiar we are with the person communicating.  According to Anthropologist Edward T. Hall, there are four zones of social interaction among North Americans.  They are the intimate zone(1 - 1 1/2 ft), personal zone(1 1/2 - 4 ft), social zone(4 - 12 ft) and public zone(12 ft or more).

Referred from:
                 Guffey, M.E & Rhodes, K. & Rogin, P. (2011) Business Communication:

                Process Product (6th edition) Toronto, ON: Nelson

                                                                        

"Did you know that 50 - 70 percent of our communication is non-verbal ?

When you think about it, it's  little wonder that, there is sometimes so much misunderstanding and confusion when attempting to communicate, like the way some of our messages are received by others in a totally different context, because major part of our communication is not the words uttered, but the non-verbal part of it.

Another thing to remember is that culture plays a major part in non-verbal communications too.  What I mean here is that, there are gestures and body language that is accepted and adapted by a particular culture or a country and quite accepted in that place, which will give a totally different meaning to an outsider.  A good example that comes to mind, are my first days here in Canada studying as an international student.  Although I am no stranger to this country, I still had to understand the accepted norms when interacting with fellow students and others, which was different to the ways I was accustomed to, been living major part of my life in the Middle East.  Having said that I have to add that, it continues to be very interesting and rewarding for me, to be a part of this diverse culture here in Canada.

So, in order to improve our non-verbal skills, here are some ways we could understand and use it to our own advantage.

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Facial expressions : Facial communication amount to a large portion of our non-verbal messages, and it is said that there are approximately 250,000 facial expressions ! For instance a smile says we are happy, and a frown will give out impressions of being upset or serious.  On the other hand a lack of facial expression conveys a message too.  It says we are bored, or that the message wasn't understood properly.

What message is the girl in the image (1)  giving out, going by her facial expression ?

This information was referenced from:

http://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language.htm
http://www.ehow.com/info_8115785_many-types-nonverbal-communications-there.html                                                                                                                  

                                                                                                                    

By Dona Wewala

Picture from:
http://www.google.ca/imgres?q=non+verbal+communication&um=1&hl

"Getting that all important message across..."

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As we all are aware, good communication skills are the foundation of successful relationships, whether it be on a professional or a personal level.  However, in order to communicate well, one needs to know, the factors that contribute towards good communication.  Understanding that there is much more than words spoken in communication is the first step in doing this.  This part of the communication process which is "wordless"  is called, non-verbal communication or body language.  When body language is understood well and used effectively, it becomes a skill, and invariably a powerful tool in connecting with others as well as expressing yourself well.

The first scientific study of non-verbal communication was done by Charles Darwin, which he wrote in his book, "The Expression of the Emotions of Man and Animals", and since then many discoveries have been made in this area.

Another interesting fact about non-verbal messages is that it cannot be faked.  We may learn how to best use body language to our advantage, and even try very hard at times to act in a way that is acceptable and brings out the best effect that we would like to have, but the truth is that, sooner or later, we are going to give ourselves away, unless of course we truly feel the way we project.  All in all the messages we give through our non-verbal communication is going to have a huge impact on how others see us, how well they start to like/respect us and whether or not, they will place their trust in us.

Being aware of our emotions and how they affect us with regard to body language, gives us an understanding as to why other people are acting in a particular way and sending out these non-verbal messages, and the emotions underlying their actions.  This to a great extent, helps us to develop our non-verbal skills.

This information was referred from:
http://helpguide.org/mental/eq6_nonverbal_communication.htm

http://wiki.ask.com/Nonverbal_communication